Ok but can we smoke first?
For a while I was feeling so happy and accomplished. It felt like I was going somewhere. Even though I still didn’t know exactly what I was doing, I felt like I was on the right path. Now that I’m back in California it seems that all my old demons have tracked me down, and they’re making up for lost time. I question every action I make, then scold myself for not choosing the actions that will make me happy. I can tell the difference yet I keep myself in a state of sadness and confusion because it feels familiar. Even as I type these words I can tell that they’re only scratching the surface and these thoughts aren’t even the ones I truly want to covey. Yet I continue to type, simultaneously hoping for comfort and rejection by whomever takes the time to read this, even though I’m pretty sure no one will.